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> Ebook Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

Ebook Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

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Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra



Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

Ebook Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

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Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, by Regina Calcaterra

Regina’s Calcaterra memoir, Etched in Sand, is an inspiring and triumphant coming-of-age story of tenacity and hope.
 
Regina Calcaterra is a successful lawyer, New York State official, and activist. Her painful early life, however, was quite different. Regina and her four siblings survived an abusive and painful childhood only to find themselves faced with the challenges of the foster-care system and intermittent homelessness in the shadows of Manhattan and the Hamptons.
 
A true-life rags-to-riches story, Etched in Sand chronicles Regina’s rising above her past, while fighting to keep her brother and three sisters together through it all.
 
Beautifully written, with heartbreaking honesty, Etched in Sand is an unforgettable reminder that regardless of social status, the American Dream is still within reach for those who have the desire and the determination to succeed.

  • Sales Rank: #7903 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2013-08-06
  • Released on: 2013-08-06
  • Format: Kindle eBook

Review
''Riveting reading from start to finish . . . Never once does she flinch from the terrible truths with which she has lived and so courageously reveals here.'' --Kirkus Reviews

''Courageous and fascinating, written with a descriptive restraint that recalls moments of tragedy and perseverance with simplicity and subtlety . . . Calcaterra concludes her story with the genuine sentiment that 'we all have to believe.' At the end of this unforgettable book, readers will.'' --Publishers Weekly

From the Back Cover

In this story of perseverance in the face of adversity, Regina Calcaterra recounts her childhood in foster care and on the streets—and how she and her savvy crew of homeless siblings managed to survive years of homelessness, abandonment, and abuse

Regina Calcaterra's emotionally powerful memoir reveals how she endured a series of foster homes and intermittent homelessness in the shadow of the Hamptons, and how she rose above her past while fighting to keep her brother and three sisters together.

Beautifully written and heartbreakingly honest, Etched in Sand is an unforgettable reminder that regardless of social status, the American dream is still within reach for those who have the desire and the determination to succeed.

About the Author
REGINA CALCATERRA was appointed executive director of New York State's Moreland Commission on Utility Storm Preparation and Response by Governor Andrew Cuomo after she assisted in the recovery from Hurricane Sandy in her capacity as chief deputy executive for Suffolk County. She has provided commentary on politics and policy on national and local media outlets since 2000 and is a passionate advocate for the adoption of older foster children.

Most helpful customer reviews

94 of 98 people found the following review helpful.
Unbelievably heartbreaking, a true story about abuse and survival and love
By QueenKatieMae
Regina Calcaterra's powerful memoir, Etched In Sand, begins with her flying over the ravaged neighborhoods of Long Island following the hurricane, Super Storm Sandy. As chief deputy executive of Suffolk County, it is Regina Calcaterra's job to regulate, not just post-disaster funding, but any government resources her county receives. Calcaterra's career in public service is not accidental; growing up with four siblings and an abusive, neglectful, alcoholic mother and an ineffective foster child system, Regina was determined to make a difference. Despite the extreme poverty and constant abuse from her mother, a fragmented education and unpredictable housing, Regina was able to help raise herself, and her siblings, to become stable adults and parents. The story as to how Regina grew up to be the person she is today is candidly written and absolutely heartbreaking.

Regina and her older sister, Camille, were the true parents of the five children. Every time their mother, whom they all called Cookie, found subsidized housing in either a cockroach-infested house or even an apartment above a glue factory, they knew it was only a matter of time until the landlord would kick them out for not paying rent. Traveling from house to house using garbage bags to carry their clothing, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide to finger brush their teeth, a half bar of soap to wash themselves and their dishes, the girls were always on the alert to sneak out in the middle of the night when threatened with eviction. As most of their welfare checks went towards paying for Cookie's beer and cigarettes, the children learned how to shoplift food and live off of the kindness of strangers. And, sadly enough, whenever Cookie would eventually abandon them, sometimes for weeks at a time, the children found these days to be the most stable and enjoyable.

Cookie was a pill-popping, promiscuous alcoholic with five children from five different men. Her only son, Norman, was rarely the subject of her abusive tirades that included calling her four daughters "whores' and "sluts". Cookie would beat the girls, but for reasons then unknown to Regina, she received the more brutal and most constant abuse. Cookie even tied the four year-old Regina to a radiator for days. These parts of the book are disturbing and heartbreaking and make the reader wonder how Regina grew up to be the successful woman we are introduced to in the beginning of the book.

Knowing that if child protective services became aware of the neglect and abuse, and consequently separated into different foster homes, the children learned how to hide the bruises and effectively lie to teachers or social workers about their obviously absent mother. The foster system thirty years ago was inefficiently managed and the social workers were unbelievably incompetent. There were times Regina endured beatings, even sexual abuse, from some of the foster families. And when the children are finally taken away from Cookie and separated into different homes, Regina is able to become an emancipated minor at age fourteen. But then she learns the heartbreaking truth she no longer has any say as to what happens with her younger brother and sister.

As I was reading this book, I was frequently reminded of Jeannette Wall's memoir, The Glass Castle. Though Walls did not suffer any mental or physical abuse from her parents, they did share the same nomadic, unstable childhood of extreme poverty and hunger. The scene in Walls' book when, driven by hunger, she ate a cheese sandwich from the school garbage can is similar to Regina Calcaterra's dumpster diving and shoplifting in desperation to feed her four siblings.

Throughout Etched In Sand, the readers are able to see how Regina was able to keep herself and her siblings educated, sane, and loving. Fiercely determined to prevent other children from suffering the same experiences, Regina stays in school and becomes the first in her family to graduate from college. Her career in public service is driven by her experiences and dedication to make a difference.

Etched in Sand is written from the heart. It is disturbing, but uplifting, and it is a story about survivors of abuse, neglect, hunger, ineffective social work programs and the foster system in America. How these five children survived and eventually thrived is a story that must be told.

236 of 246 people found the following review helpful.
Absolutely amazing, also very disturbing
By Debra
I went to graduate school to become a therapist and read about and came across many sad and disturbing stories. I've read other memoirs along these lines as well, but this is by far the most incredible abuse I've ever read about. My jaw dropped over what she went through repeatedly throughout the book. What's even more amazing is the bond she shares with her siblings as they all seek to survive, and how they all come together. It's a powerful story of overcoming incredible odds.

As a book, the writing is amazing. She uses flashbacks beautifully and is able to change tenses with ease. I never once got lost with chronology, which is easy to do when people use techniques like this. The book almost never drags. There's a time toward the end where it slows down a little, but that's a welcome change after the intensity throughout the rest of the book.

It was aslo incredibly honest without being gruesome. There's nothing that's added for shock value - it is just her honest portrayal of what happened to her. At one point she even glosses over what perhaps was the most severe abuse the encountered. She does come across as a little self-promoting toward the end, but she definitely earned that liberty and far more.

I walked away feeling disgusted with the child welfare system (which I was anyway as a foster parent), but also so thankful for what I had growing up (even though it wasn't always great) and even more thankful for what I'm able to give my children. This is a story that will encourage and inspire anyone. I highly recommend it.

80 of 88 people found the following review helpful.
Stark and searing
By Trudie Barreras
Two adjectives that immediately spring to mind while reading this book are "stark" and "searing". It is stark in its descriptiveness of the abuse and neglect Regina and her siblings endured, and searing in the indictment of the failures of the social services networks and foster care systems that were seemingly totally incompetent in dealing with these circumstances.

There are several things that make Calcaterra's memoir unique in the genre of "abused child" narratives. Obviously, first and foremost, is the fact that it is the story of an entire family which survived the almost unbelievable brutality of an insane and addicted parent without themselves succumbing to insanity and addiction. This would seem, given our current cultural mystique, totally miraculous. Then, although there were a few bright spots in terms of caring, helpful adults among the teachers and foster parents who occasionally intervened in the lives of Regina and her siblings, the stunning central fact is that - as the author says - the kids literally raised themselves and each other. Finally, although one brief mention is made of the possibility of sexual abuse perpetrated by one of Cookie's men, it is NOT the theme here; somehow, perhaps because child molestation has become such a "hot topic" in recent times, I believe it has tended to overshadow the much more prevalent issue of physical abuse and neglect. Calcaterra also makes it clear that while the neglect of others, including the children's' fathers, exacerbated their mother's abusiveness, Cookie was indeed the sole perpetrator of the beatings and other vicious acts of violence.

Of course, the story ends triumphantly. Regina and her sisters and brother not only survive, but thrive. Furthermore, they do so because of the consistent love and caring they feel for each other, which is also miraculous given the apparent human tendency to form a "pecking order". Even the single male child, Norman, survived having been made the "pet" while his sisters were being constantly attacked. From a psychological point of view, I believe this is totally amazing.

By the way, this book was so masterfully written that I was able to completely accept two factors that have frequently "turned me off" in other narratives: the use of extremely vile language (but only in the context of the verbal viciousness of the mother's abuse combined with the beatings) and the present-tense style. These lend the priceless sense of reality and immediacy that completely engages the reader.

Although I am not a "survivor" of abuse myself, nor am I in any way actively involved in work with or advocacy for children in abusive situations, I perceive Regina Calcaterra's efforts to bring some of these issues to light in a truthful, clear and unapologetic way to be a major contribution to the absolutely necessary dialog on numerous important social concerns of our time. I hope it will achieve wide recognition and the acclaim it so rightly deserves.

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